By Josh Saul

When the Chop House opened in late 2001 it became something of a small legend. Rumors of so-called “à la carte” dining and triple-digit checks spread across the Valley like black slurry from a breached strip mine pond.

TGI McFunster’s, the Chop House is not.

There are no deep-fried potato bacon bombs for you to split with the kids. If you want asparagus with your steak, you’ll have to order it separately - they’ll bring you more than enough to share, though. Your steak will not have spent the past few days soaking in a vat of MSG. And your server will most certainly know what she is doing. But behind the faux woodgrain, leather and warm mood lighting lies the worst kept secret in town: the Chop House is ridiculously overpriced.

To clearly understand exactly what the Chop House is going for, you need look no further than the market-researched text from the website, which boasts of “Cognac, Single Malt Scotch, Fine Hand Rolled Cigars and more, all served with distinctive style in a strong, luxurious setting of comfortable leather and beautiful wood.” If you still don’t get it, just take a look at the anatomically correct bull logo. Yes folks, the Chop House is designed to be a place for business men. And on any given night, that’s who you’ll see there–doctors, pharmaceutical reps and insurance agents living it up on company expense accounts.

Now, I’m about the last person you’ll hear complain about a good meal being too expensive. But if you can find me a more egregiously overpriced steak anywhere in America, I’d like to know about it. You see, $40 isn’t just a lot to pay for a steak in Charleston. It’s a lot to pay for a steak anywhere, period. But if it’s going on the expense account then who cares, right?

For comparison’s sake, dinner for 2 at the Chop House can run you about $150. Dinner for 2 at Peter Luger’s Steak House in Brooklyn (which is widely regarded as the best steak house on Earth) may end up costing you a little more than half that. In New York City. And the steak at Peter Luger is actually dry aged, as opposed to the dubious “wet aging” the Chop house boasts of. (Did they not think I would know the difference?) To be fair though, the Chop House and Peter Luger are definitely not going for the same thing as far as elegance and ambiance goes - but all the “comfortable leather and beautiful wood” in the world won’t change how your food tastes.

So let’s talk about the food. First, I had chilled oysters on the half-shell. They were good, but not great. I’ve had much better at the Bridge Road Bistro and Fuji’s. And what did they expect me to do with that enormous vat of cocktail sauce? Drown a toddler in it? But they were $9.95 - not bad. (As you’ll see, the steak is where they get you.)

Next came the house salad in Creamy Garlic Dressing ($4.95). This was the most disappointing part of the meal. It was obscenely overdressed and the greens were soggy. This is a simple and inexcusable mistake. Seriously, does the pile of pale green matter in the picture look appetizing to you? (The tomatoes were great though, which leads me to believe that the better salad choice would have been the beefsteak tomato, sweet onion, and Roquefort cheese.)

My sides were Garlic Smashed Potatoes ($5.95) and Sautéed Wild Mushrooms ($7.95). As you can see, they’re served family style, so there’s more than enough to feed two hungry people. The mushrooms were especially impressive, coated in a beef stock reduction. The potatoes were fluffy, creamy and not at all gluey. Both went very well with my steak - a New York Strip cooked medium rare ($39.95).

Though the ribeye is typically my favorite steak on the cow, I went for the strip because restaurants like the Chop House tend to have access to much better beef than us civilians do. Such was the case this night–my steak was really great. Sublime, even. It had a nice brown crust on the outside, and even sported those little lines that make people think “oooh, grilled food!” Steak like this needs no adornment, and Chop House gives you none, save a lonely sprig of greens on the side. Perfect. But as I looked down at my 40 dollar steak, swimming all alone in that glorious artery clogging fat, I couldn’t help but think about all the other great meals I have purchased for significantly less.

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IF YOU GO: The Chop House, 1003 Charleston Town Center (facing the Charleston Civic Center)
Call: 344-3954. Reservations: 888-456-DINE.
HOURS: 5 to 10 p.m., Monday to Thursday; 5 to 11 p.m., Friday and Saturday; 5 to 9 p.m., Sunday.
MENU: Click on menu icon here.
EXTRAS: Valet parking available (whatdya’ expect?)

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