A martini might be the perfect summer drink. Or a Tom Collins. Or a gin fizz. Alright, I really like gin. And while a gin and tonic might be more thirst quenching on a sticky summer day, there’s really no better way to enjoy gin than in a martini. It’s the grown man’s milkshake.

So the other day I ordered a martini at the Vandalia Lounge, and it had these three golf ball sized olives in it. Now I like olives. And a little olive brine is a subtle, yet essential part of the three-note chord that is the martini. (Add a little extra brine and you have what’s known as a dirty martini. Yum.) But all that extra brine from the freakishly huge olives pushed this martini past the dirty territory, closer to something I’d want to marinade a chicken breast in. (And I didn’t even order it dirty!)

By no means am I saying don’t order a martini at the V-lounge. They have great service, so I can only blame myself. This might sound ridiculously obvious, but with a drink so simple it pays to tell the bartender exactly how you want it (Bombay Sapphire gin, two normal-sized or one giant olive, and hit the vermouth in the face with a sock full of quarters.)

A note on gin: You may, like James Bond, be tempted to pass on the botanical infused flavor of gin for vodka. I say don’t–because gin is vodka. They’re both neutral spirits–one is flavored, the other isn’t. Think of gin as the original flavored vodka. And there’s no school like the old school.

A note for olive lovers: while I wasn’t so pleased with the olives at Vandalia, I am quite fond of the olives at the Power Alley Grill. Ask for extra (on the side).

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