Valentines
Years ago I read that men should never buy a woman any present with a power cord attached.
Since I’m a practical, power-tool-loving woman, I wasn’t too fond of that “rule.” But as I’ve grown older (and my power tool collection more complete), I’ve come to recognize the wisdom behind that advice. At least where February 14 is concerned.
Valentines Day is meant for romance, not practicality. It’s a day when those of us who pretend to scoff at romance secretly nurse a desire for something sweet.
Still, I’m uncomfortable by how this particular holiday seems geared toward guilting people into proclaiming something they shouldn’t need to be prodded to do. It feels like we’re being played. Nothing says, “I love you” like diamonds or roses.
Wrong. Nothing says, “I love you” like your own lips. Or a pencil and paper. Or maybe a pen and nine or ten eggs.
One of my friend’s said her favorite Valentines Day was the year her husband got up early to draw little hearts and spell out “I love you” on each of the eggs in a carton, knowing she’d be opening that carton to fix their kids breakfast.
“I liked that he put some thought into it,” she said. “He wanted it to be something unexpected and something I’d see first thing. It had me smiling all day.”
Another friend came home to a spotless house and her favorite dinner–pepperoni pizza (heart-shaped). He knew she’d been stressing over cleaning since they had company coming, so he relieved her of that. To me, that’s romantic.
So is sneaking outside to warm up her (or his!) car on frosty mornings. Or taking the kids out for a few hours so she can have some time alone. Or forcing her to sit and read a book while you do her chores.
What’s not romantic is buying a convenience store rose on the way home because you had to stop for gas anyway.
According to an MSNBC article, consumers will spend $13.7 billion this year for Valentines gifts and 180 million cards will be exchanged. (That figure doesn’t include the cards schoolchildren exchange.)
Strangely, while researching what the top-selling valentine was last year, Hallmark discovered that the same card was the favorite all over the country.
Not exactly the kind of information that makes a person feel special. You mean everything to me, honey. Here—one size fits all.
Instead of allowing some Hallmark drone to pen your sentiment, why not take the time to write a personal letter instead? If mushy isn’t your thing or it makes you feel awkward, why not rip off David Letterman and do your own Top Ten List? Find a way to include those little inside jokes most couples have. (“I love how you’ve never complained about my favorite pink flannel shirt, even though I suspect that you hate it.”)
For many people, it isn’t the gifts that will be most remembered, it’s the gestures. Putting some thought into finding a way that shows how much you care is more important that loading your loved one with chocolate and flowers.
Flowers sent for no reason at all is far more romantic than flowers on Valentines Day, but Valentines flowers can be made more romantic if the container they come in has special meaning. It might’ve seemed strange to the others in the office when my friend’s flowers arrived in an empty paint can, but Janice knew it had been emptied while preparing their nursery. It was the perfect touch.
Finding just the right way to show how you feel isn’t that hard. It just requires some time and thought. A little creativity.
Just no power cords.
Unless it’s a Craftsman 10-inch compound miter saw with laser tracking.
