From today’s news . . .

N.Y. MAN MAKES DEAL IN GOAT PAINTING INCIDENT

The Associated Press 

MAHOPAC, N.Y. – Criminal charges have been dropped against a man accused of breaking into a barn, spray-painting three pet goats and scattering pages of pornographic magazines on the floor. 

Drew Gagnon, 37, was charged with burglary and animal cruelty after the November incident. Douglas Bisio, 34, who police said drove Gagnon to the barn, was charged with criminal facilitation.  

Gagnon and Bisio agreed Monday to give $1,000 apiece to the Putnam Human Society in exchange for the charges being dropped, said Lisa Laquidara, the clerk at Carmel Town Court.

The donation to the Humane Society is nice and all, but I’d much rather hear how exactly a person comes to be spray painting goats and exposing them to pornography.  

I keep imagining the accomplice, Bisio, trying to explain his criminal record for having facilitated goat painting. For some reason, facilitating something like that sounds even worse than actually doing it.

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