What goes around
It’s been nine years since I pulled my most successful April Fools’ joke of all time. I was new at this columnist gig back then, only six or seven months into the game, when I looked at the calendar and realized I had a column scheduled to appear on April Fools’ Day.
It was one of those times when my stars had aligned, and with great joy, I suddenly understood why I’d been put on this earth.
My column for the Big Day was simple, relating a number of pranks that I’d pulled or had pulled on me. That column, just like now, ran down the length of the page, but the last sentence at the bottom read, “But the best April Fools’ joke I ever managed to pull of was when I (SEE PAGE 22D)”
Except there was, of course, no page 22D. The joke was discovered by a few local DJs who fueled the fire by talking about the column on the air and saying the last prank I wrote about that day — the part that was hopped inside the paper — was the funniest thing they’d ever heard. It just wasn’t something they could read on the air.
I honestly believed the joke was so obvious that no one could possibly be fooled. I was wrong. My phone, and those in our customer service department, rang all morning long. In spite of the date and the topic of the column, upset readers still insisted their paper had pages missing.
As one who has attempted many yet succeeded at few, I was well pleased with the success of my hoax. But I was saddened as well, knowing it unlikely that I’d ever again succeed at getting another one over on so many at once.
Still, I can’t help but be inspired by the work of the Masters — those who succeed at pulling off elaborate pranks year after year.
After a news network in Portugal announced that the Ministry of Health would be performing free breast exams by satellite, thousands of women went outside topless. After a BBC report said the alignment of planets would cause an upward gravitational pull at 9:47 a.m., hundreds of listeners followed a fake astronomer’s instructions and jumped in the air in order to experience a “strange floating sensation.”
When Electronic Gaming Monthly wrote about a fake secret character in one popular game, scores of gaming zealots were fooled. They spent hours trying to locate and access a character that didn’t exist. One year later, Electronic Gaming Monthly iced that cake when it wrote about a new release of the game, and included that same fake character again. The gamers, certain the publication would never attempt the same joke twice, fell for it in large numbers again.
I think that’s part of the beauty of the day. It’s fun to get fooled, fun to have someone like you enough to try to pull one over on you.
Sometimes the best jokes are the simplest. The Saran Wrapped toilet bowl. The charcoal-rubbed nose-piece on glasses. The “While you were out” phone message saying that “Ellie Font” or “C. Lion” had called and needed the call returned ASAP, with the phone number included for the nearest zoo.
Most newspapers take themselves far too seriously to allow April Fools’ pranks. This paper is no exception. With my joke years back, I had to plead with the suits in order to
