Those folks in the mail order Halloween costume business sure know their stuff. Their catalogs begin arriving in our mailbox about the same time as the back-to-school ads. While some might say the costume hawkers are jumping the gun with such early promotions, I suspect they do it because they know just how persuasive-and relentless-children can be.   

Not to mention how fickle.  

My daughter used to spend days studying costume catalogs until they were dog-eared and ragged. Once Celeste had finally made her selection, she’d begin her campaign. She’d plead, cajole, sometimes even go as far as offering to pay for the costume herself. But in spite of her many assurances that her mind was made up, somewhere between the costume’s arrival and Halloween, she’d start edging toward something different.   

This year, though, she caught me off guard. After poring over the catalogs like she was cramming for finals, she announced she was going to be a hobo. I waited expectantly, anticipating a hobo costume adorned with rhinestones and sequins, but when pressed, she said, “I’m just going to make it myself.”   

Homemade costumes are the best. They’re what dressing up for Halloween should be-cobbling an outfit together requires more creativity than cash to assemble. Since it’s sometimes takes a little grease to get those creative wheels turning, I thought I’d share some of the extremely simply costume ideas I’ve been collecting.   

* Dress in all black or all gray, then glue candy wrappers, chewed gum, lots of popcorn, and an empty popcorn box to your clothes. Tell folks you’re the floor of a movie theater.   

* Wear blue surgical scrubs with clusters of cotton balls glued here and there. Carry a loaded water gun. When people ask what you are, squirt them with the water gun and say you’re, “Partly Cloudy with a Chance of Showers.”   

* Wrap yourself in duct tape, sticky side out, then roll around on a freshly mowed lawn and go as a Chia Pet.  

* Paint “Go Ceilings!” on the front of a plain t-shirt, then walk around clapping and cheering. (Ceiling Fan) Or tie a single leaf to a string and attach it to the bill of a ball cap so that it dangles in front of your face. When someone asks what you are, blow on the leaf and say, “Leafblower.”  

* Costume for men: Find a box large enough to fit over your body, cut arm and leg holes, then cover the box with wrapping paper and a big bow. Attach a big gift tag that says “TO: Women, FROM: God.” (God’s Gift to Women.)  

* Dress in black from head to toe. Attach a large “8″ to your chest. Whenever someone asks what you are, say, “Reply hazy. Try again.” or “As I see it, yes.” (Magic 8 Ball) 

* Wear several undershirts to serve as padding before putting on a dark blue sweatshirt upon which you’ve stenciled, “K-9 Unit - Trainer.” Attach a realistic-looking stuffed dog to the sleeve. (Attack Dog Trainer)  

* No time to pull a costume together? Just wear your normal clothes and carry a sign that says, “Nudist On Strike.” Or if you have a small toy airplane handy, just carry it with you and if someone claims you’re not in costume, say you’re an Aircraft Carrier. Or carry a cigarette lighter and a CD with you and every now and then, hold the flame under the CD. Tell people you’re a CD Burner. 

* Or dress in black and blue and say you’re a Bruise.

* Or you can do like my daughter is planning–borrow your Mom’s favorite flannel shirt, and go as a bum. 

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