The beige-ification of Ohio
“I’m not exactly sure what it was, but there was something about Ohio I didn’t much like,” I recently said to a family friend after a trip to Canton.
“I expect I know,” said Bob in his slow, matter-of-fact, Eyeore way of speaking. “It’s beige. The whole state. Beige.”
“But most everything seemed so clean and new there,” I said. 
“Might be new,” he said, “but it’s beige or taupe or tan. Whatever you call it, it’s all the same. A person could get rich there if they had some tan rocks to sell to the builders.”
He told me about a friend of his who has lived in the same complex of townhouses in Ohio for the past four years. She recently pulled into the wrong driveway. After four years of living there.
Although I have somewhat less disdain for neutral colors than Bob, I suspect that he’s right. There’s something sad about sameness, about visual political correctness. About adhering to a color palate that strives only to be un-offensive.
The heck with originality or individuality or going out on a limb. Heaven forbid anyone try something daring and new. Having such rigid uniformity-and restrictions on the types of changes a homeowner can make-does protect the investment of the whole. A single homeowner can’t do something so outrageous to their home or build something so bizarre that it ends up lowering the property values of the rest of the neighborhood. It seems like a sound enough idea, but–yawn–how dull.
Do we really want to live in a taupe and tan world when there are so many other colors to choose from?
My in-laws live in the South Park area of Morgantown, not far from the cow house. I doubt many in the Charleston area are familiar with the cow house, but it has the kind of paint job that makes non-residents chuckle and, I expect in its early days, nearby neighbors cringe. The two-story Holstein-themed house is white with black spots. The exposed part of the basement-udder pink.
I’ve yet to go by without smiling, without thinking about what interesting, fun characters must live in that house.
I’ve yet to experience a beige house that triggers such thoughts.
Unfortunately, there are many parts of Morgantown that seem to be rapidly succumbing to beige-ification, with acres of new, identical townhouses with identical rooflines that domino up and down the tree-devoid hills. And not a single Holstein spot to be seen.
Some towns are choosing to fight back against cookie-cutter communities by instituting “anti-monotony” rules requiring that new developments have varying roof heights and colors. Many builders are opposed, saying “monotony” cuts production costs and allows buyers to get more for their money.
It’s going to take decades of renovations and paint jobs and homeowner customization before these new neighborhoods cab develop any kind of personality. Before anyone is brave enough to paint spots.
Future Vice President Steven Colbert, when speaking to Ohio Congresswoman Stephanie Tubbs-Jones of Ohio, once asked, “Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the earth?”
Maybe it’s because they want to see something other than beige.

January 23rd, 2008 at 12:21 pm
I have to weigh in on this one. I call these cookie-cutter subdivisions “house farms” because the contractors clear land of any and all vegetation in order to lay out streets and build. The resultant houses look as if they grew there, aligned as neatly as soldiers ready to march. And, as much as I dislike admitting the fact, the problem isn’t limited to the Buckeye State. Just take a look around the next time you drive I-64 toward Huntington. To my eye, WV’s varying terrain breaks the monotony a litte, but even that goes only so far.
Even if the houses in a given house-farm are brick, rather than beige, that sameness goes beyond boring or mundane, the houses totally lacking any semblance of charm, character, or soul.
I’m sure mosst of these houses are very nice, but if a house doesn’t have curb appeal, it doesn’t merit a second look to see what’s on the inside.
Yes, that is judging a book by it’s cover. However, as far as I’m concerned, there isn’t much difference in buying a nice house that is boring and buying a nice house in a bad neighborhood. I wouldn’t be happy with either.
When we moved last year, we did drive-bys on many, many houses before we found “the one”. While it’s far from new, it has tons of charm, enough trees to qualify our yard as a forrest, and enough quirks to keep us busy for a long time to come.
Oh, by the way–it’s beige!