DOING THE NEXT NEXT THING
I recently wrote about a series of struggles that had me coming unglued. A recently paid-off car that needed a new engine. A surgical procedure that required the $900 co-pay up front. Both a dog and a furnace in need of repairs. A disgusting plumbing problem.
And a gross of squirrels in our pear tree.
Instead of complaining about the situation, I began an earnest effort to follow the simple advice of missionary Elisabeth Elliot and “Do the next thing.” I wasn’t going to allow myself to look at all that had gone wrong or the many small and large things I sensed were lining up, planning to jump out at me next.
But it seemed for every step forward, I’d get shoved two steps back. And then came a well-timed e-mail from a reader.
“I had a similar experience back in 2007,” wrote Jennifer Goddard. “Within a four-week span, I received the news my corporate job was eliminated, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 cervical cancer, and my sister-in-law was hospitalized with potentially deadly complications after a routine surgery. I couldn’t believe the mess my life had become. In despair, I foolishly asked the universe ‘What next?’ with no regard for karma’s sense of irony.
“Was it because I dared ask that question my house caught fire after a freak December thunderstorm? Lightning struck the pole by our house, traveled through the power line and caught our breaker box on fire, which caught the laundry room ceiling on fire! Thankfully (though I didn’t feel that way at the moment) we were home. We heard the smoke detector, we had working fire extinguishers and we knew how to use them. My husband quickly put out the fire while I called 911.
“If you’re going to have a house fire, that’s the way to have one. We saved our home and pets and only had to move out for 24 hours. We found cleanup of smoke damage is much easier and really just an inconvenience compared to recovering from extensive fire and water damage.
“Our breaker box was replaced and we celebrated having a cautionary tale to share with friends and family. My sister-in-law recovered from the blood clots with no lasting health problems. Not everything was resolved the way I would have hoped, but because I wasn’t working, I was able to care for my mother during her brief illness and was there at her side when she passed away in March of 2008.”
What comes next is my favorite part of Jennifer’s e-mail.
“This experience parallels my mother’s early attempts to keep me focused on the positive things in life when I was little. Apparently (my brother backs this up), I was a bit of a whiner when I started preschool. My mom made me tell her three good things that happened before she would allow me to share a complaint. She said it was often a challenge for me to find something good to share. With prompting from an early age, and now as a way of life, I try to find the good things and be thankful.”
When I e-mailed Jennifer Goddard to ask permission to use her e-mail in my column, she said her mother, Donna Reed, a longtime teacher and volunteer at First Presbyterian Preschool, was such an amazing woman that sharing her with others helps keeps her spirit alive.
Said Jennifer, “It is hard to stay positive, and I’m certainly aware how easy it is to fall off the wagon and gripe. Sometimes you just need to vent, and that’s OK, too.”
You hear all the time how a good marriage takes work. How raising children is work. How being healthy takes work. What I never seem to hear is that being happy takes work, too. It isn’t something that just happens when the stars align right. It’s an attitude that takes nourishing and shoring up and attending.
I like to believe that I’m one of the happier people you’ll meet. I can find the funny in most any situation, and that comes from having had a life that’s frequently forced me to look.
So I’m having to look a little harder this time. I know that I’ll find it.
I’m lucky that way.
