‘Unpredictable’ predictably bad
The CD:: “Unpredictable”
PERFORMER: Jamie Foxx
NOTE: PARENTAL ADVISORY for strong language and sexual content
Jamie Foxx can sing. Far from the best, his crooning in the Ray Charles biopic “Ray” and his numerous song-dates since prove that he can hold at least a half-bucket of water when it comes to belting out a tune.
But Mel Torme couldn’t save “Unpredictable”’s abyssmal catalog of songs. None of them seem to know which way they’re going. Foxx lends his breathy moan to some cheap R&B/soul beats and it seems we’re heading for a funky second-rate love album a la bargain-basement Luther Vandross. Fair enough. Even bad make-out music serves a purpose.
When you actually listen to Foxx, he’s not romantic at all. Jamie the Satyr lusts after everything with protruding breasts. And guess what, ladies? The Foxx-rod kindly blesses womankind with his sexual hyper-drive whenever the chance arises.
On the song “DJ Play a Love Song,” Foxx leers at a woman from across a club and notices how much her man bores her. Never one to see a lady suffer, Foxx suggests popping into the loo for some sex. Good save, Jamie. No woman should have to spend a night at the club with the guy she came with.
The theme repeats: Jamie like sex; woman need sex; Jamie have sex with woman. No feelings ever get in the way. Why would they when sex is so much more fun? The motto of Jamie World, as told in the song “Three Letter Word” (it’s not “cat,” “hot” or “ram,” but you’re getting warmer), holds that “sex is stronger than any drug, even love.”
The Motown-esque music suggests passionate, sultry love-making, but Foxx sings about strait-up boinking (even Marvin Gaye loved his song-women). The album’s gangsta guest list suggests why. Foxx called in the hip-hop cavalry — Ludacris, Twista, the Game, Snoop Dogg and Kanye West, among others — to pitch in their two-cents of flow to attempt a million-dollar album. Granted, Foxx sang on West’s hit “Gold Digger” and Twista’s “Slow Jamz.” (Quid pro quo, Clarice.) That doesn’t mean they can carry his album.
In fact, Foxx’s spitter friends make him look silly. He tries to emulate these guys (and perhaps distance himself from the Ray Charles-sweetness that got him recognized) with rampant swearing and racy scenarios, but it’s not fooling anyone. Foxx is not a ‘G’ and he doesn’t ‘chill with his doggs’ as he purports. The over-sexed thug image so genuine in Snoop Dogg fits Foxx like a clumsy Furrie costume — looks an animal, but it’s clearly a goofy prop.
Foxx grew up involved in music, but he is not a professional musician. Sure, he played Ray Charles, but that was a movie. He excelled in the world of illusion as an actor should. Foxx can walk and talk like Charles, but he isn’t likewise consumed by sounds in his head. Charles’ self-absorption reeled us in and made us care about his feelings to the point of adopting them as our own. Foxx just seems like a pompous self-promoter miles from his home turf.
Musicians possess a pure insanity and alluring egotism that “Unpredictable” shows cannot be faked. Someone should have predicted that.
— By Morgan Kelly
December 29th, 2005 at 7:27 am
Apparently you don’t have a clue as to what “Hip Hop and R&B” is. This album is good, and I know many others think the same as I do.