Hot woman, tepid tunes

THE CD: “The Orange Album” (Wind-up Records)
PERFORMER: Stefy
WEBSITE: Click here.
SUGGESTED TRACKS: “Chelsea,” “Lucky Girl,” “Nothing Really”
YOU’LL LIKE IT IF…: you lack a soundtrack for your Young Molly Ringwald look.

What does it say about a band when the first sentence of their promotional material hails them for having a hot lead singer? That’s not to say neo-New Wavers Stefy invented banking on sex appeal. But more often than not, sex is a perk, a secondary emphasis (sometimes barely) to the music even when our throats are jammed near bursting with libido.

But Stefy (cobblers of the top-50 single “Chelsea”) says: “Listen to us because our singer is a scorcher.” Heck, the band’s even named after her. The music just tags along.

So, is singer Stefy Rae fly? Well, yeah, in a Zooey Deschanel is Chantal Claret as Tiffany kind of way. Still, she’s a few puddles shy of the Drool-o-meter Hall of Fame.

So sad for the band because they bring little else to the table. Rae channels a lesser version of Gwen Stefani as she squeaks sun-drenched California melodramas over fuzzed guitars and dizzying synths. (Hear the ridiculous “Orange County.”)

“Chelsea” — a catchy little Eurythmics knock-off about a euponymous girl who steals men — about taps the Orange Album’s wheat (hear it on the band’s Web site). The song earned a spot in the recent film “John Tucker Must Die,” but as the reviews for the movie roll in, it seems Barnes and Barnes’ “Fish Heads” could have snagged a track in that dreck.

The album’s other ten songs waver between over-worked, refried Tubeway Army songs and just palatable electro-pop.

Sorry, Stefy baby. It takes more than a pretty face — even when you have one.

– by Morgan Kelly

One Response to “Hot woman, tepid tunes”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    stefy is obviously some kinda tramp…

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