Now that my cold is starting give way, it might be a good time to head over toward Milton. I could wait a couple of weeks and do a twofer with the punkin’ festival, but I’ve never actually been to the festival and would hate to cloud the weekend with grubby, crass consumerism.

The Milton Flea Market is hands down the largest in the state, but not the weirdest. Little Sandstone/Hinton wins that. It’s the kind of place where you can sometimes get fresh vegetables at one spot, handguns at another, vintage comic books next to it and in the back row there might be a nice old man selling literature and tapes proclaiming all manner of crap involving the Jewish people, the state of Israel and the Clinton administration.  

Milton tries hard. Guys sell homemade pickles two stalls down from somebody running a tattoo parlor or selling slightly irregular children’s clothing.

I love flea markets. I love the kitsch, the junk and the occasional find. I got most of my comic books at flea markets when I was a kid. I’ve bought video games, music, movies and even Armani ties at flea markets. My dorm room walls had posters collected from a movie house that was selling off their stuff at a flea market.

And I love the crowd… I love looking in a BMW and seeing a stuffed moosehead in the back seat. I love watching little old ladies pick through the dime romance novels slowly. I watch them choose books based on the obvious physical attributes of the guy on the cover molesting the countess/indian maiden/puritan/lunch lady. I love that. I love going in with five bucks and coming out with something I absolutely don’t need, but with $2 and change. 

Anyway, provided all the stars are in alignment… Off to Milton this weekend and I’ll take my camera.

The Church and School of Wicca in Hinton was my first feature story.

I found the school/church through some friends, who pointed me to a Web site. I contacted Jo Frost, whose parents officially founded the place. Jo ran it, while her parents traveled to make appearances on television and radio shows across the country. They also did seminars and went to a variety of places where they could talk and sell their stuff. Having a deep and abiding love for the moon god only gets you so far, after all. You have to eat.

After a phone call, Jo agreed to meet with me. I drove to Hinton, got lost, which is normal, and eventually found the place. It was a plain building on an unremarkable street with the exception there was a woman standing outside on the walk across from it, glaring at the building. (more…)

Fall officially started Sunday. Autumn for me means holidays dedicated to gluttony, horror movies and witches. As a child, I was terrified of people in pointed hats with green skin. Call it the “Wizard of Oz” complex.

In case you hadn’t noticed, West Virginia has plenty of witches judging by the bumperstickers and all the cool goth kids and their fashionable pentagram-themed jewelry. Seriously, Thor is making a comeback in religious circles. Call it the power of the Internet and maybe Marvel Comics. I expect a temple to go up any day now, followed by one for the Jedi and another for HGTV.

Anyway, I can only do so much, but if you’ve ever wanted to maybe join a coven, take some classes on witchcraft in the comfort of your own home… Have I got the place for you… The Church and School of Wicca.

Go, take a look around. The net babysitter on your work computer probably won’t have a problem with it and it may freak out the IT guy, which is a bonus. It may also encourage him to have a long conversation with you about his own personal beliefs in one of many possible dieties.

First thing to point out… Wiccans are not Satanists. I’ve never actually met a practicing Satanist. I have met a lot of people who buy books on Satanism and black magic at bookstores. Just a hunch, but probably the diabolical spell you’re looking for is not going to be published in a paperback. The lawyers at Doubleday would advise against it, I’m sure. There would be liability issues.

More about the school, next post… stay tuned.

Saturday afternoon and downtown Clendenin had slowed to a a quiet creep. Heavy extended cab trucks rolled over broken pavement. Only a few people moved along the narrow walks. It occurred to me that maybe I’m wrong. Nothing was slowing. This was the genuine pulse of the place.

Only a handful of the “mom and pop” stores were open. The burning red “open” sign by bar a door down from the old Roxy movie house was lit, but the marquee at the theater looked as if it hadn’t been lit since the Carter administration. The door to the indoor flea market was propped open. The proprietor sprawled on a couch and watched cable-compromised movies, bad films that nobody cared about the first time, edited for time and content and reinforced with commercial messages seemingly more coherent.

A 40-year-old mom with a pink thong peeking out of the top of her jeans stopped in to chat or get out of the sun. He deflected real conversation in favor of the movie he wasn’t particularly interested in. Nobody was impolite, but no one really wanted to say anything.

Down the street, the pawn shop was open. I love pawn shops. I love them because mostly the second hand stuff belonged to someone who cared about it. Thought had gone into buying a particular item in the first place. A sacrifice may have been part of relinquishing it. There is a tortured history with almost every item.

Junk shops are filled with castoffs, things abandoned, despised and forgotten. Their treasures are in occasionally being another’s trash. Pawn shops contain treasures that at least used to be treasured by someone. I didn’t have the heart to go in. It looked like too many had been made to give up too much as it was.

We walked around the town, found an old chain-link barrier that used to be where a bridge crossed the river. That bridge had been removed decades ago, leaving a scar whose memory was fading. There was nothing to look at except the river rushing by and the steady flow of business going on across the water at the chain grocery store.

What was strange was this seemed so very familiar.

Well, this week marks the first official field trip out and about to explore strange places. I’m headed over to Clendenin to look at an old bridge and probably break my diet by eating a chili dog somewhere. It’s more of an exploratory mission.

Meanwhile, as a general shout out, we’re coming up on Halloween. Anybody got any ghost stories for Charleston or haunted houses locally? If so, send them in. We’ll gather up whatever passes for the Scooby gang here at the paper and go see.

Admittedly, the Scooby gang is probably a gang of one, but I promise to do all the voices and wear and ascot. What kind of self-respecting cartoon character wears a neckerchief anyway? Did anyone ever figure Fred to be a Boy Scout? I don’t think so.

Anyway, send your ghost trip tips to: lynch@wvgazette.com

By now, you’ve probably heard of Road Bowling.

A rough cut explanation of the game typically involves a group of guys chucking tennis ball size (but heavy) cannon balls up a county road. The guy or team that gets to the end of the road with the fewest tosses wins. It’s kind of like an Irish form of golf and according to some sources, occasionally a bit of drinking is involved.

Speaking as a guy whose Father’s family all came from the emerald Isles… you betcha some drinking probably goes on.

Anyway, here is a list of where you can go catch a game over the next couple of months.

September 29 Mountain State Forest Festival, Elkins. 1:30 p.m.

September 30 Preston County Buckwheat Festival, Kingwood 1:00 p.m.

October 6 Holly River State Park Fall Challenge (& Pig Roast), Hacker Valley 1:30 p.m.

November 4 Stonewall Resort Yankee Skedaddle, Stonewall Jackson Lake State Park, Roanoke

Here’s a little mood music to get you moving…

Gracias, amigos.

Just a reminder campers: today is the last day to vote on the state slogan. This will be the slogan that may replace the wildly popular “Open For Business” welcome message. Smokin’ Joe is pushing “Wild, wonderful…” I’m more in line with “Now with more stain-fighting action” or “Ham Flavored,” but vote your heart. That’s what’s important.

To get you there extra fast, I’ve weeded through some of the red tape to get there. Just click this.

According to the rules, you have to be a state resident and you can only vote once. Given the state’s track record with voting, I’m sure that’s exactly what will happen.

My tradional early Autumn cold has been kicking my tail. Too much sneezing. Too much cold medicine and too much sitting on my butt playing video games. So, I’m running behind this week. A couple of points to catch up before I get onto other matters later today.

1- In case you missed it, Delsie Mae Hershmann died a few days ago. She was the owner of The Southern Kitchen (also called the Southern Chicken and The Cock House). The Southern Kitchen is one of the truly legitimately weird places in town. Open all night and decorated like Grandma’s knick-knack shelf on a three-day bender, the place is iconic and the food ain’t bad either (except the tossed salad, which is forgettable). (more…)

It’s not looking too good on me talking with the wrestler:

Hi Bill. If you get this, before 10:30 (interview tonight) just call Jake he’ll give you a little something now.

xxx-xxx-xxxx.

HE is sorry, he really meant to call you today.

Shannon

I missed the email by about 10 minutes. I was just trying to keep up with my hectic schedule, which this week, has included shots of Nyquil, followed by a near catatonic torpor. The upside is the coughing stops. The downside is most rational thought does, too.

I’ve been considering bringing the stuff to work. It might help.

I get sent some strange things for the gazz calendar.

National Christian College Fair

Hagerstown - If you are thinking of enrolling in college during the next few years, you won’t want to miss the Hagerstown Christian College Fair, to be held on October 18th, 2007 at Heritage Academy from 7:00pm-9:00pm. Many of the top Christian colleges in North America will be represented, and a financial aid workshop will be provided. So don’t miss the Christian College Fair at Heritage Academy at 12215 Walnut Point West, coming on October 18th, 2007, from 7:00pm-9:00pm. This is a free event (in a different state).

I think it’s an obvious attempt to recruit our young. Next, they’ll be sending missionaries.